The Rest of Your Story 13: Who shares your life?

To start from part one, click here.

We never write alone. 

 So let's take some time to consider who shares our lives and stories. 

Before we do so, I'd like to bust the myth among women that goes something like this..."Everyone else has lots of friends but me." 

According to an article by the Washington Post, 50% of Americans do not have even one friend they can confide in.

Including family, the average number of close relationships is still only two. While concerning, that's a whole different post.

What I want to highlight here is you are doing okay in your relationships.

Facebook, twitter, and all the other social media sites out there can make it seem as if the whole world is one big party and we're not invited. The enemy can use that to lie to us and make us feel alone. But it's not true.

That being said, let's take a closer look at the relationships in your life. I've created a little diagram to help us out...

 
  
Heart Relationships - This is your inner circle, those with whom you can truly share who you are, the ups and downs. These are main characters in your story.

Personal Relationships - These people share your life in your neighborhood, church, work, etc.. You care about each other. They influence your story.

Functional Relationships - These connections are casual and interactions have a practical purpose. They appear in your story but don't have major impact.

When we look at the life of Jesus, we see this reflected. He had three disciples who were closest to Him then the twelve, the forty, and the multitudes.

Connections to others impact our legacies now and our stories forever. As DaySpring cofounder Dean Kerns recently said, "All we take with us into eternity are our relationships with God and each other." 

If you're in a chapter (and we all have them) when you don't have the relationships you'd like, can I invite you to find those here? This community is a safe place and we really do care about you and your story.

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TODAY'S QUESTION: Who shares your life right now? Especially, who is a "heart relationship" for you?

Every comment during the 21-day challenge = an entry for $50 to DaySpring.com, including the (in)courage shop!

Are you a blogger? Every Friday we'll have a "Rest of Your Story" round-up! Just answer any of the questions for the week as a post on your blog, include a link to this series, then add your blog to the list on Friday. We'll get to visit you and you'll get another entry in the giveaway!

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Comments

[Quiltokie]

This was a hard one. I knew immediately who was in my "Heart Relationships". I had a very hard time deciding who fit into the category of 'influences' my story and who was 'insignificant'. I think I learned a lot about myself when I really thought on these two. I'm not sure whether I just grew or whether I just discovered areas I need to work on!!!

[Maureen]

This was also a difficult one for me, because I don't have many people who influence me who aren't also my Heart Relationships. They kinda go hand in hand for me.

[Becky]

I am in a chapter right now where I don't have the relationships that I'd like to have. I know I need to do something about that and I am trying to get out and meet more people but I'm also so very shy and introverted. I'm truly trying to work on that, too. :)

My Heart Relationships are few ~ just my brother and his family but they live so far away ~ and a couple good girlfriends. But, even all of them who I love and treasure, aren't really what I need right now. A little over a year ago, my husband passed away. And a few months before that, my mother passed away, also. And, I don't blame them, because I know it's sometimes difficult for some people to know what to say and do for someone who's grieving. But, I can tell when I share with them, they're uncomfortable and seem to think I should be past my grief by now. I have met a couple ladies who will listen to me, understand me, and who have helped me a great deal. I would love to consider them also two of my Heart Relationships (and, in a way, I do, because they mean the world to me), but I'm aware that, though they sincerely do care about me, I'm more like just an acquaintance in their lives. I'm okay with that.

Those who influence my life are also few. I work in a very small office. Most of the time, I'm the only one there. Those in my church are so much older than I am and, though they care about me, they are not people who share a big part of my life. I do have a few wonderful neighbors who would do anything for me.

Even though my relationships are few (having lost two major ones in one year), I've come to a point where I am completely dependent on God -- and I have a feeling that's exactly where He wants me. :)

[Lauri]

This one was easy for me. My heart relationship are God, my hubby, kids, parents, sister & my 3 closest friends.Personal are my friends of friends, the ones I see every couple of months, my coworkers, & some of the people in my neightborhood.Fuctional would be some in church & neighborhood.I would have to say my closest heart relationship is with my hubby. He is my best friend.The personal & functional really don't influence me. I only let my heart friends have influence over me concerning decisions that I have or will have to make.

[nancy]

My answer to this one may not make sense to anyone else, but I think that's okay. I have one "heart friend" who lives in the same town, but the others don't. My "local" friend is a huge answer to prayer--I wanted and needed a friend and God provided her for me! She's looking at a job change and is rather likely to move in the next year, but that's also okay. God has given us a relationship that can continue over the phone or internet, like my other non-family "heart friend" that lives 150 miles away.

My closest family member is 500 miles away, and some are much farther removed physically. Heart friends, whether family or not, are exactly that, though--heart friends... and physical proximity is not always required. I can relate to Becky's comments above. I, too, was a young widow. My husband died, then my mother in law, my daughter's best friend, my grandmother... We had quite a year! But God is faithful and good, no matter what our personal circumstances. I have to agree with Becky's comments--God used these situations to draw me to Himself in ways that probably would not have happened had my life felt more "settled". God has provided for all of my needs. Not always according to my time frame, but I trust Him to do what's best for me... and God became my best (and for a while, my only) heart friend.

[His beautiful graceful warrior]

Thank you for this post. Out of the richness of God's grace I'm made aware again that I have recieved one blessing after another. Even in times when it feels like I am "alone" God has surrounded me with people in heart relationships, personal relationships and functional relationships. I am richly blessed. Just recently I went through a very difficult time and I allowed my pastoral team the priviledge of walking along my side as I opened my heart with the struggles I was facing. The hard things I faced have more purpose with the beauty and healing which came out of that time. It is important that for the protection of my heart that I only allow those God has ordained in each sphere to be in that part of my personal garden; the public garden, outer courts, and the inner garden of my soul. "Thanks, God, for the friends and relationships you ordain which shaped me continually and build me up to your glory!"

[Kimberly]

My best friend Rhonda. She prayed for a best friend and got me. I'm so fortunate to have her.

And of course God!! I can share anything with him. Thanks God for who you are to me!

[KayJay]

I've just arrived at this juncture of your writings and it has ignited a dormant thought inside of me. Although I have QUALITY who are my ‘heartbeats’ I find it difficult to have a complete heart relationship with them because I do not have one with myself; until I do, my relationship with God and with my ‘heart’ friends are flawed because of MY heart towards ME.

Does that make sense…that the lack of warmth, self-belief and unselfish self-love for myself will leave me deficient in appreciating and accepting the full relationship I can have with God and others? May aim is to remedy this, with help from God and whomever He leads me to, to assist with this task. I am grateful for the patience and love of God and the 5 wonderful friends who make up my heart relationship circle…I am truly blessed!

May God continue to bless your ministry He leads you to stimulate us to growth.

Have a blessed day…everyone who reads this!

[Sheila Buchanan]

I am very blessed with friends to share things with. I have several people that I consider "heart friends" but there is one special "heart friend" that I feel like I can (and have) shared all my thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, dreams with. This friend has never told me what I should do, but made me think honestly about what I should do and make my own decisions. I also have a large circle of both personal and functional friends. I know how very blessed I am and I thank God for all these people. They have all made my life richer. I love the statement that was made by the cofounder that "all we take to eternity are our relationships with God and each other". I'd never thought about it this way - I will never forget his statement.

[pamela]

this one was easy for me, my heart relationships are my family, my soulmate, and actually my co -workers, who i have kwown for 20 years.my co workers have actually brought me to the lord, and have stood by me through some difficult times. my boss, is my mentor, pastor, and friend. also my grand daughter, who is just 26 months, is my heart. i finally have the kind of relationship with my mom, that is comfortable and we can talk about anything.