When you want to stop wearing your mask...
Almost twenty years have slipped by since that day and yet I still remember every detail.
High school.
I walk into the music room.
Freshly betrayed by a friend, I plaster a smile on my face. The choir teacher, who knew my circumstances and was also the leader of our Christian club, stood squarely in front of me.
He placed his hands on my shoulders, looked into my silly grin and said, "Holley, stop faking it."
Something about hearing those words out loud turned the lock in a place inside my heart. He gave me a gift that day. Permission.
I didn't even know I needed it. But over the years that one sentence became part of a series of dominoes that toppled my tendency to be the "good girl" {in a not-so-good way} right to the ground.
Emily P. Freeman, author of Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try Hard Life, also knows what it's like to wear a mask.
She says:
"I hide behind my smile and laid-back personality. I hide behind fine and good. I hide behind strong and responsible. I hide behind busy and comfortable and working hard toward your expectations. And if I do not meet your expectations, I hide behind indifferent. And though the purpose of my mask is to fool you, don’t be fooled....
I feel fear. It washes over me with its lies and half-truths. The lies aren’t blatant. They marry themselves with a little bit of truth so the distinction is blurry at best. And so I practice the presence of fear and refuse the presence of Jesus.
I lived this toxic way for many years before I understood about The Rescue. I live it still, when I forget that I’ve been found. Even for those to whom truth has been revealed, fear can be a loud and abusive motivator.
Fear drives.
But Love leads."
I've sat on a comfy couch next to Emily, legs folded under her, computer on her lap. I would never have guessed that she struggled with fear just like I have.
Just like you probably have too.
You might say, "I don't think of myself as a good girl." But if you've ever tried hard to please people, if you've ever found yourself following the law instead of love, if you've ever wondered what would happen if someone knew the real you, then Emily is talking to you on these pages.
The cover of the book has a bird cage on it. The door is open and on the outside sits a brightly colored bird, ready to stretch its wings.
What did it need?
Permission.
Truth.
Grace.
The same things my choir teacher gave me long ago in a small way. The same things Emily pours out in abundance on page after page of this book.
After I walked out of that classroom, I don't remember what I was wearing, what I had for lunch, who sat next to who in Science class. But I remember this:
I felt lighter.
As light as air.
Because grace always helps us drop our mask and find our wings.
Grace for the Good Girl is available as a book and ebook from places like DaySpring, Amazon, and other locations online or where you live. AND you can enter to win a copy here too! Revell is providing four copies! Woo-hoo! Just leave a comment by midnight on Friday sharing what has helped you find more grace in your life.
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Holley Gerth
Reader Comments (180)
this really touched me,I wou,ld love to read the full book and share it with others that have to feel they need a mask,those words Fear drives-Love leads & permission,lots of beautiful birds in guilded cages all due to fear & trying to please others ~thank you and God bless you on your journey
I'm a mask wear-er from way back, as I think most women (and maybe some men...) are. I feel like I have so many masks that I don't know if I'd recognize my real face. Thank you for putting this message out for the world (and yes, for me) to see and lean in on, to soak in... to believe.
Grace - what a small five letter word and yet one of THE most powerful gifts on the planet! Grace is what we all need and yet find so hard to give to others.
About 6 years ago I prayed asking God to show me more of His grace. Little did I know what awaited me. The next 4 years would be a journey of heartache and pain as my daughter experienced bullying at school. And because of that bullying, and because of all that pain in her heart, began a journey of rebellion. One day, in the middle of it all, I asked God why??? He reminded me of the prayer I had prayed. And how that no matter how awful things were, no matter how painful, He wanted me to love my daughter - to love her with His love. To look at her and those who had caused all this grief with His grace. His grace. It looks far beyond the pain. It looks past the hurt. It sees the person through the eyes of pure love and embraces them. Forgives them. Loves them.
In learning about His grace, I have come to know that it really shouldn't matter how a person acts, looks or treats you. All that matters is that we love them. That we extend the same grace to them that we would want others to extend to us.
God's grace is so huge! Far bigger than we could ever comprehend. It reaches far beyond the rules of religion. It loves the unloveable. It embraces the unhuggable. And the best thing is that it is available to everyone!
This post has had a profound effect on me. I guess realising that I hide behind my mask is something i was hiding from. Since I was a little girl I've been pretending things were ok. My marriage was my freedom from that my husband cared about who I was. Then after the loss of our daughter i hide again, for the real me is a grieving heart broken mess.
Besides God, my daughter has taught me a lot about grace. She's so easy to forgive when mommy has lost her patience and having her has made me realize that the littlest people often deserve the most grace.
This definately spoke to me! I suffer from clinical depression that is managed with medicine and my Father in heaven. I lived in FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real, for a long time and still do at times. Through this "cross" that I bear, God has been able to use me to help others and for that I am so grateful. Thanks for the chance to win a copy of Emily's book!
I would love to read Emily's book. I am definitley a recovering good girl :)
This book sounds amazing and I would love to get this book.
I am the last person i ever justify grace for, which makes me sad. That being said, the lessons that i have learned over time seem to help.
i am so eager to read this book!
I wrote in my diary just yesterday about fear: "Fear takes the truth and covers it with lies. Lies that say 'I'm not good enough. I'm a failure. I'm not worth it. I'm unlovable.' But God says, 'I created you and you are wonderfully and perfectly made. I know the plans I have for you and work all things together for good. I am creating something new and beautiful out of you. I love you and nothing will ever change that.' Oh that those words would be SO imprinted on my heart that fear can't even get in!" I would LOVE this book!